Monday, August 23, 2004



*sighs.

i shouldn't have been so 'bored' and went to search for yhope blogs randomly on google.
i got more than what i wanted.

i came across a blog that had an entry in the archives being all sunny and excited for God, but the moment i clicked 'current', the same person was talking about meeting 'ex-church people...the yhopers...' around the place.

that cast a shadow which i refused to see.
but i continued on.
stubbornly, if one may say.

eventually, i came across one that had my own name on it.
guess what?
i had come across a blog by one of my ex-sheep.
a blog which she had never told me about.
and where she had blogged about all the willfulness she had been hiding, what she should have told me but purposely chose not to...

i couldn't help it.
my heart wrenched.
it hurts so so so much.
its over and gone.
but...residual memories are never completely forgotten, are they?

for it just comes back.
rushing, like a locomotive overwound, speeding towards you.

i suppose there are some who may give a snort of sorts and tell me that its over, that we have to move on.
well, i have.
but that doesn't mean i've forgotten does it?
sometimes, pain keeps on going on.
PUAY! :) // 2:00 AM //